Rock Music Doesn’t Need Royal Blood and Neither Do You


Rock Music Doesn’t Need Royal Blood and Neither Do You

“All I hope is a door’s been opened and Simon Cowell will have to reconsider how he gets to Number One again” says Mike Kerr in an interview with Kerrang!. The guitarist makes up one half of Royal Blood. You’ve heard about them, right? The duo have sold 66,000 copies of a self-titled debut in a week, making it the fastest selling rock album in a handful of years, thus saving both the genre and the album as a format.

I didn’t realise either were in danger.

While the band haven’t really declared such sentiments, they haven’t shyed away from them either. Instead, maintaining their vacuous personalities behind a projected illusion of cool, the pair have avoided such questions with stock answers of chemistry and music. They treat their success as a complete surprise.

And that is where my issue with Royal Blood lays. It’s the same issue I have with 5 Seconds of Summer. The bands are disingenuous.

From Matt Helder wearing their T-shirt during the Arctic Monkeys’ headline gig at Glastonbury to a tour booked at venues deliberately too small for demand, every leap in Royal Blood’s miraculous and life-affirming rise has been scripted, rehearsed and played out under the advisement of a management company, Wildlife Entertainment. It’s the same company who handle Arctic Monkeys, funnily enough.

I have every faith that Royal Blood started out as two guys in a garage, playing heavy music; the basis for every good and bad rock band for centuries. But that’s not what they are today. Royal Blood are as artificial as the glittering performances parading across your television sets on a Saturday night, begging for votes and admiration. Love me, they flutter. They’re as important as the puppet acts they want to see gone from the top of the pops. Except, Royal Blood didn’t have the decency to ask for your permission or the good-faith to be blatant about their intentions.

The music Royal Blood make isn’t bad, and their live-show is fair. Both, however, are hollow. They just don’t have anything to say, and surely that’s what we want from music. A voice.

Not every artist needs an opinion on Gaza, or the dismantling of the NHS but when every small venue in the UK is under threat of closure from a variety of noise complaints, abatement notices and planning applications, we need our favourite bands to speak out. To lead the charge. To protect a future. While the closure of these venues won’t effect the likes of Royal Blood, who can bypass the ‘toilet venue’ stage of their career by hiding in a studio until ample hype has been amassed, it will effect every genuine band with a voice.

Royal Blood is fast food music. It’s cheap, easily digestible and will, for a short while, feel that need within you. It should never be championed though, or hailed as something it isn’t. Not now, not ever.

Truly help save music by reading this website, and signing the petition.


~ by justdip on 14/09/2014.

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